The importance of finishing well motivates me hugely. Whether it be the final touches to a crafty idea, a blog challenge or a work-related project once started I’m usually committed to see it through to the end. As a type A introvert beginning is less important than how the race was run and how one gets to the finishing line. It’s a big deal for me, how things end.
Every day begins with a series of tasks, some form a repetitive routine, which for those of us who take half a morning to fully arrive in the day, this is a good thing. However we get through the day, be it a wild chaotic dash from crisis to crisis or a placid potter, most of us reach the end of our shift with a sigh of relief. That part of the day when we let it all go and switch off.
What has this to do with September’s NaBloPoMo’s theme of Healing then? The life event I wish to explore this month with the assistance of the prompts is my resignation … from work that I love and have been doing for the last seven years. When I leave work in two weeks’ time I want to know that I have finished well and that I have left well. I want to know that I have honoured those worth honouring and have not diminished those who lack honour.
Monday, September 1, 2014
Do you find it more helpful to talk things out or to let things quietly rest?
It is always helpful to talk things out, but it is not always welcome. When the matter is one of conflicted opinion the helpfulness of talking it out depends on the emotional intelligence of both parties. In recent years I have become adept at broaching those difficult topics both in the office and at home. How I introduce the topic and the way in which the conversation develops depends on both parties being able to think reflexively. This means we are both aware of how the message we’re trying to convey is being received. If I notice the other person becoming defensive, reflexive practice on my part makes me evaluate what I have said, how it was said and try and determine why it was received differently to my intention.
On the other hand if one party lacks the emotional intelligence to move away from defensive behaviour there is little point, in my opinion, to continue to try and talk things through. It seems that limited emotional intelligence is accompanied by arrogance and obstinacy. In those circumstances it is best to let things quietly rest although this stance can be seen as ‘backing down’ or condoning inappropriate behaviours. Unfortunately this ‘letting things quietly rest’ approach can leave one open to office bullying as the louder and more obdurate personality holds sway.
I want to leave my job with dignity and ongoing gratitude for the opportunities I have been given. No bitterness. No anger. No regrets. I believe courage is innate in the healing process; it will take courage and grace. In these final two weeks of my time in this team I hold onto the words that helped me through other times of turmoil and change.