Rant warning: If you are offended by the opinions of others about children, yuppies, or yummy mummies you may prefer to stop reading here. But just in case you’ve hung in there here’s my definition of a “Yummy Mummy”: attractive affluent woman, always beautifully dressed but sometimes in designer gym gear despite never having set foot in a gym who generally has two or three toddlers who go everywhere with mummy and daddy, including expensive restaurants and hotels.
The first part of the morning passed quickly as I gradually worked my way through the message bank, over 200 emails (love that delete button), attending to subpoena requirements (let’s get reacquainted with the photocopier), contacting new referrals and of course catching up with colleagues (lots of laughter). Three weeks is a long time to be away from the office, but not long enough when on holiday.
Mid-afternoon and it was time for a break from desk and screen; time for favourite coffee with a newspaper in the quiet cafe that had become a retreat in a yuppie nook of town. A lot can happen in three weeks – like my favourite haunt was claimed by the neighbourhood yummy mummies and their offspring.
I like children, really I do and I like young mothers, honestly but the yummy mummy set have an ‘etiquette’ all of their own. Are they ignorant or arrogant? Please let me know because I haven’t figured it out yet. Why do I think they’re either stupid or up themselves? Because they actively make problems, not just for the other customers, but for the staff. The toddlers were doing what pre-schoolers do – shout, run around, cry, and tantrum, loudly and cause mayhem. The yummies were doing what mummies do – talk and yell above the children, ignore children’s pleas for attention hoping someone else will pick up after their child or minister to its needs. And don’t get me started on the baby chinos making rivulets across tables, cup cakes with the icing smooshed into the chair coverings and the general mess and mayhem.
One peek in the front door was enough to convince me there were other quiet sanctuaries. I wonder how much custom my once favourite café has lost with its perky new clientele. It is difficult to imagine the staff won’t have noticed regulars are not sitting at the large bench tables reading papers or quietly catching up with work while savouring the best coffee in town. At least when we left the place it was in a similar condition to when we arrived. I couldn’t help notice the joint looked like it might need refurbishing when the mummies and toddlers finally went home for naps.
The hunt is on for another haven that serves yummy coffee.
Arrrr … welcome back to work.