Five Things That Heal My Soul

NaBloPoMo:  Wednesday, September 17, 2014:  Name five things that heal your soul

While I spend my work day helping other people come to terms with a range of issues it is humbling that I don’t seem to be able to help myself to the same extent.  (Physician heal thyself …).   It irks me that at different times in the process of unwinding whatever the issue is I catch myself, at various times, behaving like a child, the critical parent (my father) and sometimes (not as often as I’d like) the sensible balanced and reasoning adult.

Transaction Analysis (TA) is something I’ve latched onto recently that has helped me work through the tough stuff.  It allows me to move between what it calls the three egos (child, parent and adult) and to find my centre … where sense prevails and my thinking starts to clear and find a way forward.

Transactional Analysis ModelThere is no judgement, just acceptance.  It is what it is.  With that as the foundation of healing the five things most helpful to support me heal are:

  1. Solitude:  the personal space to identify which ego I’m experiencing and understand the related behaviour
  2. Time: to find the voice of reason (the adult ego)
  3. Process:  that allows the three egos to work through themselves gently observing the thoughts in each state and emotional/physical response to these thoughts and feelings
  4. Find the lesson:  understand why the child ego is acting out, what has triggered the response, and likewise for the critical parent, working towards discovering the rational adult perspective in the here and now
  5. Move forward:  what is the adult ego saying that I need to take hold of to get back on track

The strength of TA is that one can freely move along the continuum without judgement.  However, the big ask is that we observe ourselves and our responses and try and bring ourselves to the centre where balance and objectivity prevail. Being able to recognise and change old, self-limiting patterns promotes personal growth and enrichment.

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