When I started blogging in 2009 it was a tentative endeavour with no focus other than to document my thoughts and opinions and perhaps to use it as a journal. The attraction of being on-line carried with it a hint of commitment which I felt I could maintain. The sad thing was the blogs I visited were as lacklustre as my own. Perhaps if I had come across some of the rich content I visit regularly nowadays I may have had a more erudite start. One of the reasons I wasn’t successful, and I use that word loosely, is that I wanted it to be a perfect thing and it wasn’t. I wanted my writing to be flawless, and it wasn’t. So I parked up the blog and returned returned to pen and paper.
What’s with the Queasy?
Towards the end of last year I had an irresistible urge to have another look at my blog. Oh dear, too bad, how sad! There it was unloved, neglected and with one follower. Such tragic neglect! About that time I came out as the INTROVERT I have always been but was too afraid to admit. Blessed with the personality profile of an INFP (Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving (Introverted Feeling with Extraverted Intuition), I now understand that I am an idealist, a healer, an advocate and possess more insight and intuition than many others. The rich inner world of feelings where I like to live is drawn to the human struggle but simultaneously longs to withdraw to process the information. An advocate and an idealist allow me to enjoy open-ended experiences by giving information rather than giving advice.
Initially, the vulnerability of the world wide web was frightening, particularly for someone who dreads any opportunity to mill or network or get up close and personal with a stranger. I am not shy, I am simply uncomfortable in crowded spaces and I find loud noises of any kind nightmarish. Either scenario makes me feel, well … Queasy!
And now for the Peasy?
Between that first post in 2009 and last year I changed career course, completed a university degree and started work in the community sector. Big 180. Now my days are spent listening to peoples’ struggles and experiencing how they lurch from one crisis to the next. It has given me a respect for the human endeavour to which I had been quite oblivious. It didn’t take long to understand that the cold face of suffering and trauma is no place to be unless you are prepared to do something to alleviate that pain. As a youngster more than one teacher told me that if I could combine my extraordinary verbal language skills with my debating voice I would be a force to be reckoned with – I am not altogether convinced they were being complementary, do you think. They suggested I go into law.
Now my work is also my passion and the skills the nuns identified are being put to good use for the first time since then. I discovered I can advocate for people; I can listen and I can speak on their behalf; I can support and I can provide counsel by way of reflection. I am working in a sector that provides opportunities every day to progress the cause of social justice and I thrive on that thought, it motivates me and energises my work.
As we discover what we do well there is much satisfaction to be gained in working in that area. Mental health, alcohol and drug addiction and recovery and being on the ground and present to be an ambassador for those unable to speak for themselves is where my INFP skills are put to best use. It is also where my INFP self is most at home. Which makes it all very easy Peasy!
And when we put it all together?
The blog provides me with the opportunity to dip tentative toes into the big wide yonder from within the comfy cocoon of my dashboard. If I am not feeling talkative I can visit you and quietly ‘Like’ your post. It is my introvert way of saying ‘hello’ , but I haven’t anything more to say right now. I can visit you individually without meting you in a crowded place that is noisy and frightening. Thinking about it makes me Queasy. And the Peasy part is I get to write about all the things I enjoy, the things that tick me right off and the things about which I feel happy and sad. There you have it: Me and my QueasyPeasy blog.
How did you come up with your blog’s name? Does it have significance apart from being a label for your on-line presence?