Beauty may be Skin Deep, but Ugly is to the Bone

Do you believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder?  Or do you think there is a basic standard of beauty that everyone agrees upon?

There is a truth reflected in the saying:  Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly is to the bone.  Why?  Because beauty is  more than how someone looks.

Good looks and pleasing body shape are the wrapping of beauty, the exterior, the covering of what lies beneath.  What lies within, beneath the visible, is from where true beauty emanates.   If kindness,  compassion, generosity, thoughtfulness, love, patience, form part of a person’s make up it complements the good looks and, yes they are beautiful.  Equally true for men as it is for women.  On the other hand a mean and angry spirit, narcissistic tendencies, and selfishness are seldom redeemed by good looks.  The ugliest people may well be considered good looking until their personality is exposed.

As much as beauty is pleasing to the eye it is uplifting; it enhances a sense of well-being.  Looking at someone who is both physically attractive as well as a decent human being draws others to seek their company, engage them in conversation, learn more about them.  Looks and behaviour attract us to each other.  Initially we may be attracted by good looks which I think is a primal sexual hang over.  We hear that that it was love at first sight.  No it wasn’t.  It was sexual attraction at first sight, love came later because sexual attraction is involuntary and unconscious.  In the after glow of the first meeting we analyse what it is we find attractive.  At that point we think about the thick hair, broad shoulders, strong handshake, warm smile, easy laugh, outgoing, political interests, enjoys the outdoors, large breasts, curvaceous body, long blonde hair, blue eyes, well groomed, poised, non-smoker, my mates like her, good teeth and so on.

Our attraction to someone is underscored by our adaptability shopping list and like any shopping list we are all looking for certain elements in our partners and friends.  So yes beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Any universal standards of  beauty are perceptual and rely on visible attributes before behaviours.

Posted as part of the NaBloPoMo February 2015 Event

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3 thoughts on “Beauty may be Skin Deep, but Ugly is to the Bone

  1. ..but the saddest part is, we are first judged based on our looks, instead of our achievements or character or personality. A sad truth. I say this, because in the Indian subcontinent, having a chocolate/brown complexion is considered ugly irrespective of your physiognomic features and so I am always commented about my skin tone before anything else. Sigh.

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  2. It is true that someone can be incredibly attractive to the eye, until some of their ugly personality sneaks out, and then it is hard to notice their physical qualities anymore. I have definitely encountered that.

    What I feel blessed to have known as well, is a person of average good looks, whose personality of kindness and generosity so shines from them, that they are considered ravishing to all who know them. I have known two people like this, who, for some reason, I remember as if the camera has one of those soft focuses. Both of these women had the effect on people, that they could enter a room, and the whole room would seem to take one step toward them. Everyone wanted to be near them, and it was because of a graciousness in their nature that made everyone feel as if they mattered somehow more in their presence. Truly amazing.

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    • Totally agree. Some of the most charismatic people are blessed in other ways. Or is it that they haven’t had to rely on their good looks but have had to work on their personal skills. It seems like the beautiful celebrity set have been given permission to behave in ugly ways, sometimes, and it’s okay because they’re rich and beautiful. So shallow. Thank you for visiting.

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