Which of your responsibilities stress you out the most?
Myers-Briggs assessed my temperament type as an INFP (introverted, intuitive, feeling, perceiving: specifically, an Introverted Feeling with Extraverted Intuition). It’s a very accurate portrayal of me and it clarifies two attributes of this ‘type’ is their idealism and perfectionism. We’ll leave the others because it is these two that are relevant in today’s discussion about which responsibilities stress me the most. The picture below is somewhat reflective of my workspace. What is spot on is the lengths to which I’ll go to make sure I’ve got the last piece of information I need to put together the
perfect best submission possible. No stone unturned – that sums it up well.
Most of the time I cruise quietly putting out fires and endeavouring to ignite others. I’m happily flexible which means change happens with limited stress. On the other hand if my values are violated I can become an
aggressive defender assertive advocate. However, conflict, sloppy effort and having my values compromised within the areas of my responsibility are the things that stress me out the most.
Those who know me will agree that I go to great lengths to avoid conflict. Hands up people pleasers! To make matters more uncomfortable intense feelings make it it difficult for me to work through conflict. While it may sound like a recipe for disaster: conflict and feelings have worked well for me if I take time to process what the issue is and look at what has triggered my emotional response to place me in a state of stress.
The responsibilities involving relationships and conflict are the most difficult. The daily niggles waiting each morning when I arrive at work; negative attitudes, resistance to change, people not doing as they’ve been asked and this last one drives me nuts, having to repeat the same request each fortnight: Please let me have your time sheets before you leave on visits on Friday. I find myself having childish conversations in my head which I know will never make it passed the vetting system of reason. I do try to shut off from the emotional energy and it does temporarily bring relief but eventually it reaches a point where the slightest incident causes an over reaction thereby adding to the stress. It’s embarrassing to write this but I stress myself out because others stress me out.
Being responsible for the standard of work has been an issue that causes me to stress. I expect much of myself and I (unrealistically) expect others to work with similar energy. Discovering they aren’t giving it their best shot means I have to leave the building and go for a walk. I frequently turn myself into a pretzel trying to understand why someone would be happy to present a sloppy piece of work and then put their signature to it. It is difficult to understand why such a shabby manifestation of disinterest would be acceptable.